Let Go of Baby and Say Hello to a Man

Everyday is a new adventure in the Newland-Rice family. We are enjoying life these days and some of life's stresses have begun to melt away. My boys are flourishing and growing up way too fast. Dalton continues through his 7th grade year making good grades. He is now playing baseball, and is looking great out there. Dalton has begun the journey into manhood, yes, Mommy's heart is breaking and I catch myself not wanting to let go. He is such a sweet innocent child and I know that once he is able to spend more time out in the world those innocents will begin to fade away. I guess that is one of the greatest challenges as a parent; is being able to recognize when it is time to loosen the apron strings and let our children experience life. I know that he will not keep his innocents for long in this life, it's a part of growing up. At some point they will learn all about the ugliness of this world. They will face alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and sex; we have no control over this. With the world the way it is, most of the time the kids are being exposed to these things everyday in school. I know that I have raised an incredibly bright and sensitive child. I believe that I have given him the tools to live life and make the best decisions. Yet, there is so much fear that he will be influenced more by the world than by the wisdom from his mother. I guess in a way that is the way it is suppose to be. Parents are suppose to share their knowledge with their children and teach them right from wrong; then we are suppose to set them free to live their lives. I am still at a loss on when that time should be, but in the end I guess nature will take it's course. Dalton is as tall as me with a dark shadow above his lips. His voice is as deep as James Earl Jones and his heart is as big as Texas. I can see their is a young man that is beginning to sprout inside of him and I see that my baby is slowly leaving. One day, that baby will be gone and in his place will be this strong willed man. I can feel that sinking feeling inside that I am sure all mothers experience as their children grow up. A feeling that I bet my Mommy felt over and over as each of us grew up and moved out. This is a delicate time and takes a lot of work to find a balance that we both can live with. With teenagers we have to keep them close enough that they can trust us with anything, yet far enough away that they don't feel smothered. A smothered child can turn into a rebellious child, which is something we don't want for our kids or ourselves. It is a learning process and I am trying everyday to make the right decisions. I know I make mistakes and as a Mom sometimes I don't do what makes him happy but brings me comfort. Such as Dalton wants to be taken to a skating rink and dropped off with his friends. This is the skating rink that Chris went to as a teenager. He speaks of drinking, smoking, and sex as behaviors that were exhibited there on a regular basis. Knowing this brings no comfort to me and therefore, I choose to keep him away from there. Can I protect him forever? No, but I can make sure that he is slowly given freedoms and is slowly exposed to this world. Maybe doing so will allow him to adjust and make smarter decisions as he faces new experiences. As an adult he will recognize my good intentions, even if, as a teenager he may resent me and my decisions. Dalton has always been a good kid and he is a wonderful brother to Rayden. I know that his very own spirit will keep him going on the right track, it is just my job to guide him through this life. I pray that the directions that I point him in, turn out to be all the right ones. With the help of Chris I think we can achieve this. I think for once Dalton has a sense of family and stability, something he was missing while I went through my separation and divorce. We went through many changes and lived in many places until I found my way. Chris and Dalton have slowly built a relationship and I think they are finally in a healthy place. Dalton needed a male role model in his life everyday and now he has one. I am proud of my family and enjoy watching us all evolve. I am slowly accepting that my babies will grow up and move on, although this is a very slow and painful process. I will survive as millions of mothers before me have. Hopefully, my children will feel as though they lived a great childhood and grew up with all the tools they needed to succeed; I guess only time will tell when it comes to this. Best Wishes and God Bless!!!

Life Keeps Getting Better

It's been a while since I have taken time to write and update everyone about the life here at the Newland-Rice household. School has taken a huge part out of my life and kept it in what seems like a cage. Keeping me from enjoying my family and the simple pleasures out of our lives. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, as I only have 6 more months of classes before my externship starts. In a mere 12-13 months I will be an employee of the Occupational Therapy Assistant world, and with God's grace I will find a job that will pay enough to bring my family out of it's financial strain. It has been a long road but in the end it will pay off with the success of myself and my family.


As for the relationship between Chris and I, it has evolved into a stronger and better version of itself. We both have had lives that has left us feeling injured and insecure with ourselves and within our relationship. When people have scars from old wounds it can be hard to see past that damage within our own minds. This insecurity keeps people from really sharing themselves and keeps you from truly opening up. We cannot trust when we are always wondering when the other shoe will drop. This among a few other things led us to therapy. Yes, I said therapy. I am not beyond admitting that an unmarried couple is in therapy. We have been together almost 4 years, and know that we want to stay together. Most people do not know how to communicate, this is the greatest downfall in almost all relationships. We fight wrong and always end up hurt without solving anything. Therapy is teaching us how to display our thoughts and feelings and a better way to show our discontent with our partners. And better yet, how to get back on track after the disagreement is over, also known as apologizing. I can honestly say that there has been a great change within our relationship over the last 2 months. It feels like we are falling in love again, but even deeper this time. Therapy has also helped our family. Chris has learned different parenting skills. As a first time parent and taking on( a "step-child") Dalton, who wasn't a baby at the time, Chris has had to learn how to parent properly,especially a half-grown child. It's hard stepping into someone's life and not really understanding the role you are to play in their life. There has been a great improvement in how they interact and I feel our family is growing closer everyday. It is amazing to think that learning a few communication skills and a few tricks can change how your daily life functions. I think that all families can benefit from counseling, if they shop around a find a legit therapist. I know that it has given me the skills to live life with a renewed faith and brings a lot of joy into our world. We will continue to see the therapist over the next few months, before dropping down to on a need -to -basis and continue to reap the rewards of our work. Life in the Newland-Rice household is constantly getting better and I am beyond opitimistic that it will continue to get better and better. I am in love with my man, my boys, and my life. We are so blessed to be living this life and I am so grateful for the journey I have traveled, without it; the road would have never led me here. LIFE IS GOOD!!! Good luck and God Bless.

2009 In A Nutshell

2009 was a year that has flown by and definately was a roller coaster ride. The year started out with my sweet baby boy turning 1!! His first year went so fast and brought so much joy into my life. I would have never guessed that becoming a Mommy all over again at my age, would have been the greatest and most blessed gift I could have recieved. He has accomplished so much this year. He started walking right after his birthday. Since then, there is no slowing him down. He now says so many words and sentences, that I can't count them. He is small still, only weighing 22lbs at 22 months old, but he is getting taller.
Dalton has done well this year, making the honor roll everytime, except for one. He has gotten taller, he no stands face-to-face to me.. His voice is now so deep and he has this black fuzz growing over his lip. It makes me sad that my little boy is now, slowly becoming a man. I can't believe that in 4.5 years he will be all grown up... So, seems like I just had him yesterday.
In January I decided to check out colleges, before I knew it I was enrolled and going strong. In 2009, I made the Dean's List twice and hope to continue to do so many more times before I graduate. It was not fun juggling two jobs, classes, home work, and life at home. Yet, the good Lord gave me the strength to make it through.
In June Chris was let go from his job due to the economy being so bad. He remained laid off until getting a job offer just after Thanksgiving. During this time, Chris was able to stay at home while I worked and went to school, which gave Rayden the opportunity to stay at home.
On April 28, I got a call while in class that broke my heart. My sister Priscilla called to tell me that my Papaw was dying and that I needed to get back home. I rushed to pack and get to him, but by the time I got there, he had passed away. I missed him by 30 minutes. Thirty minutes that I so wish I could have back, just to be there to watch him join my Mamaw. I am grateful that Rayden got to meet him, just 3 weeks prior to his death and that I got to kiss, hug him, and tell him that I loved him one last time. We buried Papaw on May 1, 12 hrs later his sister, my Aunt Carolyn, passed away. Our family was devestated by our losses, it was a one two punch. They will both be greatly missed and I hope that there was a big reunion up in heaven for all of those that we have lost over the years.
I began my second job in August, babysitting a cute baby boy. It has been fun and has given me a chance to bring in extra income while working around my school schedule. The lady I babysit for has turned into a good friend and I have enjoyed getting to know her and her family.
Christmas Eve was my last night working at the Cookie Place, giving me more family time and some time to decompress. I can admit now that I had taken on too much and it was starting to take it's toll on me and our family.
This year has been a trying one at times. Our financial situation is way less than optimal and with this can bring pressures. Chris and I have felt the weight of it all over us and at times have fell into rough patches. Thankfully, we have Nana's help. Without her standing by us and helping us make bills we would have without a doubt hit a huge wall.
Chris and I are currently working on our relationship. With life being so hectic we have allowed things to weaken and loose sight of where we are going as a couple. We have agreed to work on things and build on our relationship, in hopes of moving to the next stage. I am happy that we have made this decision and I am very hopeful that things will work out just fine. We have love and with that I think we can accomplish anything. I believe that 2010 will have many gifts to offer us as we grow back together. I am looking forward to the future for my entire family.
Christmas with all of our families was nice. We spent the holidays visiting our loved ones. It is hard to fit it all in, but we got it all done. I was especially happy to go home and spend time with my parents and my sisters, I also got Auntie time in with my sweet nephew Levi. It was truly a Merry Christmas.
To end the year of 2009, Nana and Sam have gotten engaged! They have not set a date and probably won't. I suspect the two adventurers will dash off and elope in some awesome place... Jealous? Yes, yes I am..LOL...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! It's going to be a great one, I just know it!!!!!

A Veteran, a Cookie Cake, and Tears for Two... A Thank You to Veterans.

Most days when we wake up and go to our respective jobs, we do not think that what we do may have an impact on anyone's life. This is especially true, when what you do is make cookie cakes as a job. I work part time at a cookie store in the mall, on any given day I make cookies, cakes, and do customer service. Most of these days I can honestly say people walk through the line, buy their cookies, and will never think of me again. Today, I may have made an impression on someone that will last his lifetime.

When I arrived at work this morning, I began my regular chores of putting out cookies and other prep work. Then, it came time to make the cake that we sell by the slice. I pondered for a moment of what to make, then decided to make a cake to honor Veteran's Day. I made a cake with a ribbon that had blue and red stars on it. Just as I had finished the cake, the elderly people that eat together in the food court everyday, began to arrive. One elderly man was dressed in his Army best. From the distance he looked well put together and I could see his pride beaming across his face, all I could do was smile at how cute he was.

The lady I worked with saw my cake and decided we should give it to him and his fellow veteran friends. Our boss agreed, so she boxed the cake up and took it to his table. The table was a probably 50 feet away and my eyes are failing me, but I could still tell what was going on. She walked up to the gentleman in his Army attire, he stood up, and she spoke to him. As she spoke telling him how we appreciated his service as well as the service of his friends. At first he was standing tall, like you see the soldiers standing in roll call. Then he became less rigid and I could see his hand shaking, he opened the cake box, and saw the ribbon and began to cry. He asked her to let him pay for it and she replied it was a gift from us to them. When she came back in she stood there and cried, in turn I began to cry. Who would have thought the simple act of a cookie cake could bring people to tears. Of course, it was not the cake, but the meaning behind the cake. Most soldiers, especially the ones from World War I, World II, and Vietnam, have felt forgotten; have felt like we as a country do not appreciate or recoginze the sacrafices they made. These soldiers were injured; they watched death and destruction, that to this very day haunts their dreams. They lost family and friends, some of which they held in their arms as they took their last breaths. These soldiers have carried their burdens with them for decades and all along feeling as though what they did, mattered to no one. This eighty year old man, realized in that moment that he mattered, his time and sacrafices mattered; at least to someone.

When their meal was complete the man walked up to the counter and smiled at me, he knew I had decorated the cake. He then said, "Thank you so much". I told him he was welcome and I thanked him for his dedication to his country. His wife stood beside him and whispered, "Thank you sweetie." They walked away, and I took in that moment. What appeared to be a perfect outfit from the 50 feet away, had turned in to old Army attire. He was obviously bigger now than when he was a young man. He had used rubber bands to hold the jacket closed and I could smell the musky old scent the closthes had obtained over the years. Yet, this man stood as tall as he could and walked with his head held high. No matter the age of his clothes or the age of his body, the pride in his country will never grow old. I imagined as he had looked at me, what those eyes may have seen and knew whatever it was, I am sure it was life changing.

I just want to say Thank You to all of you who are or have served our Country. I want you to know that your scarafices are appreciated and that we will forever be grateful. Those of you who have seen war, past or present, I say you are the bravest of the brave. The courage it takes to face the horror of War is that of an incredible warrior. You all amaze me and I cannot imagine how you do it. Once again, thank you all so very much. I hope everyday is Veteran's Day for you all. God Bless and Best Wishes.

Rayden's First Birthday

Rayden's First Birthday

A Dream Come True

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was a man that has never been duplicated, and most likely no other man shall ever live up to. God gave this man the courage and insight to see what our Country could truly be. He had a heart that loved everyone no matter what that person looked like or how that person believed. At the time he walked the streets sharing his wisdom, our Country was controlled by hate. People truly thought they were superior to others based on the color of their skin. People believed they had the right to tell someone where to sit or what water fountain they could drink from. And people believed if a black man looked them in the eyes, they were asking to be beat. It's amazing what this Nation once was. It's also heart breaking to know that this Nation was capable of being so ugly. The beauty in this horrible part of our history, is how far we have come. That it's possible for one person to change it all. For one person to Have A Dream, and for us to see that Dream come true. In my 31 years on this Earth, I had been witnessing this Dream evolve from words off the lips of this wonderful man, into a Reality. It's not just about Obama being elected. This country has been slowly changing and improving. Sure there is still racism, and sure there is a tension that still remains for some. But for the most part, it's a better world. Come tomorrow, January 20, 2009, we are all going to witness history. Something our great-great-great grandchildren will be reading about in history books, and not realizing the importance of that day. Take the time to soak it all in, so you can tell the story of how you witnessed a Dream coming true. Even if you didn't vote for Obama, see the beauty in knowing that we have finally become ONE NATION UNDER GOD, instead of just words in our Pledge of Alligeance. And to Mr. King, thank you so much for the gift you gave us. You sacraficed it all so this Nation could thrive and work in unity. God Bless you...



One of the Greatest Men of all time. Without him, this country would have never grown into the world we know now. Rest In Peace Mr. King, and may you be smiling down from heaven on January 20, 2009, a day you made possible.