A little over 3 yrs ago I was in a happy marriage. Or at least I thought. I had been married six years to a man I thought I knew. Someone that was romantic and said all the right things. But the summer of 2005 it all crashed in on me, when he left me for his girlfriend. An ex from high school believe it or not. She too left her marriage and now they are "happily" married. I was destroyed to say the least. I had spent years with the only identity of being someone's wife. I had been a stay at home mom for over 4 years. No college education and he left me homeless and with no money. I had no outlet, no way of getting outside myself or my grief. Finally after spending my first Christmas without my mate, and living through it. I realized I could pick up the pieces and move on.
I didn't go out so I had no clue how I was going to meet men to date. After watching match making commercials one time too many, I got on my computer. My friend took pictures of me and we downloaded them to a dating service. People talk about the dangers of online dating, but how are the other alternatives any safer? If you meet a man at a bar, you know pretty much what your getting..Probably an alocholic cheating man. No matter where you meet someone you not going to know all there is to know in order to be absolutely sure you are meeting up with someone safely. You have to be smart. You have to use web cams so you can see it's them your chatting with. If they try to get you to be dirty then you know what they are after. You spend hours on a phone, you never meet at night, never meet them alone, and never let them know where you live. Then you do several meetings like that before going on a "Date". Like any date it's a risk.
I had made two matches by early spring of 2006. Gone on several dates with one and even had a four month long relationship with a good guy, but he just wasn't right for me. It had built up my self-esteem alot. I realized that some men found me attractive which was a shot in the arm that I needed after being left for another woman.
By late June I found a good looking man named Chris on one of these sites. I sent him a quick flirt saying I thought he was cute. but never gave it much thought after that. He is after all four years younger than me and I thought I wouldn't be his type. Suprisingly to me, he emailed me right back. He said he thought I was very pretty. And we started hours of endless chatting. Before I knew it we were talking on the phone. One call I remember was over five hours long! At the time I was living with my ex-boyfriend's sister sharing bills with her. That was a good hr and a half drive away from where he lived in Louisville. So, I really didn't think we would meet up. Then in July my room mate and I went to Lexington for the weekend. We had a hotel room and was going to go out on the town. On my way Chris called and we made little statements like "gee so close together, be nice to meet". But it was just like words being thrown out there. Then at midnight he calls and says "hey give me directions, I'm on my way". I thought he was full of it. But I gave it to him anyways. I thought why not no big deal. As bad as meeting in a hotel may sound, my room mate was there, and there were people all around in the building. That made it a safe situation to me. But, I thought he was joking so I pulled my hair up and got into my pajamas for the night. Two hours later he calls and said he was in the parking lot. I ran to the window looked out, and I be damned there he was. I ran in the bathroom fixed my hair and changed my clothes in the time it took him to get to the room.
I was so nervous, when he knocked on the door and I was shaking inside. When I opened the door I was so happy to see him. He was even better looking in person than in his pictures. We sat down on the corner of the bed where we remained for hours. Talking, with me staring at my hands most of the time, too shy to look him in the eye. When I did manage to take a gander,he had this warm tender look on his face. I could really tell he thought I was pretty and that he liked me. By the end of the night we had our first kiss and fell asleep in each others' arms. On top of the covers may I add. It was such a sweet,simple and innocent night.
And from there we began our relationship. As unconventional as our relationship had started and as it has pretty much stayed that way, it's a good one. Maybe internet dating isn't right for everyone, but it was for me. To think how random our meeting was, that lead to having such a beautiful baby, all I can say it was meant to be. Our meeting will definetly be an interesting story to tell little Rayden when he gets older. But I am sure by then it won't be looked at the way that it is now. And that it will just be another acceptable manner to which two people meet and fall in love.
